Free
by Orange Memories
Summary: A mother's pain. A mother's anger. A look into Izayoi's mind.


**FREE**

Charming climbers on wooden trellises. Secrets, Intrigue and plans. Whispers in the dark. A home that is not a home. Stifled within. Manners of courting. Spoken words that were never said. Laughter and misery. A place for the pleasures of the Lords and pain of the servants. Hidden behind veils, within the harem, a young girl lives, seemingly hidden away from the coarseness of the world. Where the falseness of tears belies the plots they make. Emptiness and hollowness. In a world where Women are suppressed, their desires are hidden, to bow and let a man step over her.

Izayoi was sixteen, the age when rebelliousness gives way to rational thought. She was the light of the castle. She was bound in that intricate web of lies and cold deception. Her unhappiness would go unnoticed, for she had been trained to be as silent as the tree which screams as the woodcutters rend it, yet remains silent. But the darkness grew within her, like the new moon night when the sky was as black as her hair. No, it could not be restrained forever in this castle. It would bring her hope, even if it was a small sliver at the beginning.

_Her spirit would be free….._

* * *

The moon shined palely across an inky black sky. Poets have used the sky as a canvas and talk of the moon as the hidden beauty within it, which painters cannot paint, which writers cannot describe, the godly or ungodly creation.

Her face rivalled that of the moon, beautiful, elegant, ungodly. But the bright spark had given way to the ordinary face of a human, and the glow was lost in the darkness. The mirror she held in her hand reflected her face, only her face. And once it had mirrored her soul. It would be better that the mirror was broken.

She turned her face, looking at her child, sleeping on the futon. A child born of the union of human and demon. So beautiful, with silken tresses covering the futon like a sheet of diamonds. A face so sweet, angelic, indescribable.He would grow up to be strong, powerful and deadly, just like his father.

His father. The young woman smiled at her memories of him. Heart-warming memories. She was trying to break free of the shackles that bound her and he was her freedom. He was trying to redeem himself, and she was his redemption. The cords of life had bound them so strongly as Demon and Mate. Their little world was surrounded by love.

But he gave a part of himself to her, to cherish and hold in her arms forever. He loved her, and he died for her. Did he, or was it only honour?

Twisting and turning, her soul had been pulled into the netherworld, but he had bonded her back to the realm of the living, using that Blade. He had not allowed her to join him, leaving her to fend for herself and their hanyou. She hated him. He had imprisoned her yet again.

She was a puppet, a toy whose strings could easily be pulled. She was not a daughter, but an alliance. The darkness in her broke free. And now her strings were being pulled again…

She knew what was whispered behind the shoji screens, which provided such little protection to those who hid behind them. Malicious talk about the fairytale that never was. About the disgusting remnant of a doomed relationship. She would feel livid, yet she couldn't help agree with them. Their love had been doomed.

She glanced at her sleeping child. A mother's love is incomparable; unrivalled. A mother's hate can be even stronger. This child was his last vestige.

A white-hot anger seared through her. Yes, she had committed a mistake, but why should she suffer the consequences?

She had been chained within palace walls, but still had felt that slight semblance of happiness. _That had been stolen too…_

* * *

A rainy afternoon. Afternoons like these reminded her of her mother, snuggling close within her lap. Of the smell of parched earth. The laughter-filled conversations with friends. The first raindrops falling on her face.

Her reverie was interrupted by her son, covered in mud from head to toe. And his shining silver hair covered in black dirt.

"Why did you do that?" she reprimanded him.

"I wanted to make my hair as dark as yours. I wanted to look like everybody else, mommy.

She gathered him close to her, "You don't have to look like others."

"But I want my hair to be as dark as the night when the night is dark as my hair."

"You are special, Inuyasha. So you don't have to look like them."

"Really?"

"Really."

She heaved a sigh of relief. She still loved her child.

* * *

It was evening again. But this was the evening that would change their lives. It would save him and her. Both.

Earlier that evening,he had asked her a question.

"Mommy, what's a hanyou?" asked the little child. Her heart broke. Tears fell down from the once-lively eyes. Tears for both of them.

She knew what would happen to her child. He would be ostracized by the whole world, be treated as filth. He would be hurt, tortured or killed mercilessly. No, that could not happen. She wouldn't let her child die like that.

It would be better if she took his life. His and hers……..

She brought the knife closer to her sleeping child's throat. She must be stong. Brave. She must do it to save him.

The moon again swept her benevolent light against the two figures. Silver and Black gleamed together. Soon they would be joined by Red…

The puppy ears twitched and sunbronze eyes made their presence felt. He looked up at her.

"Mommy, aren't you going to sleep too?"

Her hand stopped dead in mid-air. _No. I can't do this._

Shivering, she ran from the room. Running, running away to be free again.

She stops. And she prays to God. Prays to never let her dark side take over again. To redeem her soul.

_And I will not give into the darkness. I will be free again. And so will my child._


End file.
